Untilted 2
It is Saturday morning, a few minutes after 11. I am writing this latest entry in the computer lab in my dorm (sweet right?) because my roomate is sleeping in darkness and I do not want to disturb her. Actually, that is not even the main reason, I just didn't want to type in the dark.Yesterday was a good day. It started off trivially as always. I had my two classes back to back, and then went to a tutoring luncheon to meet my tutee (?) who I had met by accident the night before at the Word of Mouth poetry group meeting. I am convinved that she does not really need a tutor to give her advice, but I digress.
Anyway, I get back from that and relax for a bit. I decided I needed to visit one of my professors because I missed the grad school forum that was held today because I went to the tutoring lunch. I go to visit her. I took her American Lit II class Freshman year and did ok. She is one of the nicest people I know. Honestly. NO kissing ass at all! She genuinely cares about her students. None of that fakeness some teachers put on. I talked to her about grad school. She asked me why I was going....
I didn't have answer except to say that the workplace is becoming more competitive and people are raising the bar; a BA just doesn't cut it anymore. (that's SO sad.)
I think that was a pretty good reason. Because I sure as hell am not going because I want to!
In fact she herself admitted that it was boring and hard, but worthwhile.
I see how good getting an education has done me, and I am sure the positive effects of continuing my education can do nothing but good. After all, I am getting my MA, not PHD (people who do are so odd! They cannot even converse on a human level anymore....at least the ones who are ridiculous about it....) But I digress.
So she gives me advice:
1.) Have confidence (not arrogance)
2.) Be flexible
3.) Get a good financial aid package
4.) Go after what I want. (ex: She asked me what I was going to do and I said something with editing, but that I could also do Journalism or anything. There are so many options. I don't know how we got upon it, but I somehow mentioned how I was interested more in American Lit than Brit (which tons of grad schools make you take classes in) She then urged me to find a program that specialized in that.)
She also told me that she, the one who is so good at talking in front of the class, HATES to talk in front of people. I was shocked. I asked her how she could be a teacher if she was afraid of doing this. SHe says she puts on an act, as if she is acting. And she is able to do it because she has a passion for it. Its something she care about.
Something about this clicked with me. My mom always says you can do whatever you want if you just put your mind to it. That's all. WIth concentration and determination, you can do anything you want. I have found this to be true in my life. But it was that last emphasis on passion that got me. You have to be passionate about that one thing and teaching is what she is passionate about...so every day she gets up in front of the class and continues one with it.
So it got me thinking: what is my passion? What is it that I feel strongly about? Nevermind the doubts that spring in my head about "Can I do it/Am I talented?" but what am I passionate about?? What is something that I am interested in??
She is so clear and concise about it. She tells me that I have determination and the potential to do well after I tell her about those stupid GRE Subject test in English crap....she gives me some advice about that too. It was a very positive meeting. Very beneficial.
After this, I decide to visit some people up in the townhouses, because one of them gave me shit last weekend when I went home to run errands, after I promised her twice that I would and did not show up.
So, I went, chatted for a bit, but they were all very distracted, so I feel like the visit was for waste. And the punk ass girl who made such a fuss about me visiting wasn't even there! Anyway, I head back to the other side of campus, to meet some friends for dinner (a very early one.) And run into the punk ass who is leisurely strolling with some other dude I know. Pfft.
After dinner, I meet up with my friend to watch The Godfather. She comes up with the idea to go to Starbucks.
"It is dark and it is a little chilli" I protest.
"So you don't want to go?"
"Oh wait! I forgot I got a Starbucks gift card!" With 5 bucks left on it.
WIth that, we are off strolling down route 9 talking about random shit.
This is the stuff I really enjoy. Just hanging out and talking. Being. I love to converse with people (not just any person, which is why I come off as reserved at first) but I really do.
It was such a fun time.
I get a Caramel Mocihiato (never tried it, it was good, but I over did it withe the sugar)
My friend decides she wants to play what her Long Island self calls "Checkas" or what is correctly known as Chekers to upstate New Yorkers. I pick on her all day evening about this.
Our conversation is SO funny! One of the funniest things of the night was this:
Me: (looking at the board and deciding whether to move one of my red men.
Friend: (staring at me, in silence)
Me: Man, I want to jump you so bad!
(Laughter from both sides)
5 more seconds of silence pass.
Friend: (in a low whispery voice): I want to jump you too!
Hahaha, that was the funniest shit all day!
I love just hanging out. NO pressure, no thing. I can just be who I am
We played that game for 90 minutes, until with each of us with one man each on the board decide to forfit one of the men. I tell her it sure as hell is not going to be me! So she relents, and I win the game!
Yes!
We ended up watching the movie (about 20 minutes of it) before just hanging out and drinking (them illegally) some pina colada w/ Rum or something....and then I tried to down a little bottle of it, unsucessfully until I started to feel odd.
WE listened to music and just hung out.
A fun, fun night and an insightful day. :-)

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