Energy
Lately, I have been feeling a bit....I don't know. I am feeling a bit uber sensitive these days-not in the way of easily hurt, but I feel like something is heightened-as if I am on another level than I was before. I have been noticing people's energy a lot more. People bring different energy with them when they enter into your world. Positive or negative either way, one feels it. Last night, Traci and I decide to get drunk. She has been having some issues with many, many dudes since she has gotten here. And one after another, she experiences disappointment after disappointement. Now, as much as I believe what she says, one has to realize that what one brings to their involvement with another person, effects the outcome of the relationship.Although she presents herself as a condifent, outspoken person, I think she is highly sensitve-so much so that whatever she experiences is not just a random occurance, but can be attributed to some other cause-such as God, fate, etc....and this is fine, as many people tend to do this, but with her it is abit overboard. I think she expects too much from these guys, honestly.
So she was burned by this guys again-on her graduation day back home, it could have been really shitty to not be in the states celebrating, but here in London, a place you cannot wait to get out of. So last night, we decide to buy Malibu and Coke, and watch Eddie Murphy-Raw. It was really funny, I liked it. We both had about 6 glasses of Malibu and coke-it was delicious! I am not abig drinker, so I had to have something that did not taste like alcohol and was fruity. It tasted like coconut actually. It is my new drink, I will make sure to have some at home. In fact, it was so good, that I was drining it like it was water.
To make the evening more sociable I guess, she decides to call Rich Girl. She comes over, and the dynamic of the room changed. I don't know what happened-whether it was the wear of off the Malibu, or if it was the energy she brought in the room. She had just said that she had gotten back from seeing a play and having dinner with her fam. It was about 11 something when she came over. She sauntered in, seemingly unhappy, and bored. I am trying to figure out why she is never satisfied to be where she is-she is constantly bored, and needs to be active at every moment of the day.
Why? Can't people just sit thier asses down and shut the fuck up?? Like really, here me and Traci are, sitting laughing at Eddie and drinking-having fun, and she comes is: "so and so is at Leicester sq" And I am thinking "so?" who cares, and she is acting like she wants to go. And as usual, she goes "Oh, I am trying to go out tonight" I had said to Traci earlier, any time a club songcomes on "oo, it is time to go out-I need to go out" any time -any thing happens actually, "it is time to go out" And to me, I am thinking: do you not have a life? Like, do something else!
So already, the mood shifted in the room. The night was not as fun after she came in. I do think it was her energy, really.
She has a different kind of energy-and it just....I don't know, I cannot explain it. Traci depending on when, can be a bit excessive in her overflow of energy-me, I am not so sure, I think I have different energies at different times. I don't think RG has a negative energy, just I don't know. I think people should be more aware of the energy they give off.
I am in my mystic phase now. I have not felt such levelheadedness, and clarity of mind since I have been here. I feel really just "chill" now. I feel really centered and peaceful. I have been having intellectual conversations with Jan, over e-mail. Jan is a friend I met in highschool. She was the librarian, very cool, connected with everyone-very warm positive energy. She is a good person. She is quite older than me-about 52. Been married, a child, and is a grandparent. I don't know how we really became friends. I don't get it, it baffles me. What could a 21 year old, actually, I was about 16 at the time, have in common with someone 30 years older than her?
Perhaps because she was/is very spiritual. She had done some Chakras, somewhat psychic behavior (she believes that everyone had a compacity for psychic behavior, if you learn to tap into it. and reincarnation. But I feel like when she asks me how I am doing, she really wants to know. I think she was the first adult that really made what I said important, and listened to me. I think to this day, she still serves that function for me, but I am not sure what function I play for her.....perhaps I'll ask her....
posted by The Eternal Student @ 1:45 PM
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