1.) To FINALLY go someplace that wasn't in England and
2.) To go somewhere with my roomie.
Now, I am going nowhere now March 24th-27. Nope. No where. I am three things:
1.) Depressed
2.) Madn
3.) Hopeless
I WISH there was a way to go back in time-preferably to the beginning of february, when I could have either:
1.) PLanned to go somwhere like Spain for reading week or
2.) Planned to go somewhere for these random 5 days we have off for Easter (over here).
Up until this point, I was very happy today-I really was. I really, really was. Just because the sun is shinning does not mean there is joy-I wanted to be happy and carefree today-to plan the trip to Glasglow and move on with it. BUT NO.
Ybelka suddenly, with the help of her very smart sister (and I mean this) convinced herself that she does not want to go to England for two reasons:
1.) She does not want to be in debt and not be able to get out of it and
2.) She (most likely) didn't want to even go to Scotland in order to be in debt. Apparently, Scotland just wasn't worth it.
Well, this whole trip to fucking London apparently has not been worth it.
I plan, and plan, and plan. I have great ideas;lofty goals-and now that I think of it, I probbaly have high expectations too, because nothing I EVER want to happen, happens the way I want it to-nothing-ever-nada. I wanted to come to England to see sites and learn to be independent and I have not seen many of the sites I wanted to see, and nor have I become independent as I have no regressed to the confidence of that of a small child who does not want to be alone in the sandbox for sadness of being alone, but does not want to be alone in the sandbox for fear of being alone while other are on the playground next door have a perfectly grand old time. See the point?
Yup. Maybe I am dramatic-maybe I need to 'calm' down, but the scary part is, is that I AM calmed down, and no, I do not see myself as dramatic-just highly emotional is all-and I, unlike millions of Dr. Phil lovers and self help book reading people, am not ashamed to say that I am very upset and disappointed now.
It would be ridiculous to say it has stemmed from todays "no Scotland trip," nope, it is not that at all. It is probbaly a who bin of things rattling me that I am unaware of, and probbaly won't be aware of, until later when I re-read this rant.
I am not happy.
I want to meet Danielle in Madird or Barcelona
and go to Italy (if at all possible,with Ybelka-this be known by the end of this month I suppose when I find out my final exam schedule)
That is it. Good day folks. Why am I so riled up because of this??? WHY??????
posted by The Eternal Student @ 6:40 PM
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